I have this same problem. I ave three children and I know that they will be upset when we choose one. How do I decide which child to choose? I have an emotional child, rational child, and a wild child. And, I don’t want to cause any rifts or fighting between them when we are gone.
Perry — we chose someone outside of the family as executor to avoid this very problem. We love our kids and can’t imagine there were be any discord around the disbursement of our will, but this takes all of the pressure off.
If you don’t want to choose one child, choose a trusted attorney, preferably an estate attorney as executor. Don’t give it to a bank. Can you spread the tasks, such as giving one your health care proxy, another child for your spouse’s HCP Sometimes, your children can work it out if one is more attuned to executorship.